Archive for the ‘personal’ Category

Like the new look? Jessica over at the The Love List did it for me and I luuuvvvveee it. She did exactly what I wanted.

If you follow me on Twitter you know I have had to work thru many, many things.

QUICK RECAP:
Divorced
Had to close my family’s company of 30 years due to my Mother’s retirement and the economy
Got baptized
Got a new job as a territory sales rep
Moved to Macon, GA where I know NO ONE
Been thru a rebound boyfriend and a boyfriend I almost married
Physical therapy for my hip
Took Kaplan for the GMAT which I get to take again because I sucked so bad the first time
Working really hard to stay gluten and dairy free. Not always successful.
List goes on and on.

If you had told me 2 years ago let alone 5 years ago that this would all be going down I NEVER would have believed you. EVER.

I had planned to stay married for life, work for my family for life and never leave Atlanta. None of that is happening. It is still hard for me to understand why everything had to change so much. But I have said it once and I will say it again I am glad I went thru it at 30 or 31 and not 40+ with kids.

And as I have changed or had to go with the flow my faith in God has increased and strengthened. I will be honest with you at one point I did think about suicide. My whole world had fallen apart. I just was not sure if I could go on. My husband was someone I did not know. Someone who wanted a completely different life and had very different values than me. I was finally off of multiple mind alternating substances, but still drinking heavily. The greatest success of my life was shutting down due to no fault of mine or my Mom’s. People I was friends with while married no longer spoke to me. Even though I was the one who had thrown the parties, bought the gifts, provided if they needed anything. I felt completely alone and just felt like it did not matter any more.

Now I am one to joke and play things off, but it was bad. My Mom would call me if I did not show up to work on time to make sure I was still alive. I had to go to therapy. It sucked. But in the end I did not want to give up. I knew that I had “nine lives” and it was time to move on to the next. I turned to God. I prayed every day. I prayed for wisdom, patience and just to get thru it. And I did.

Everybody gets divorced anymore. There is more to that story and why it was so brutal which I will talk maybe in the future. The divorce is my big insecurity and something I am still working thru.

What I am trying to say, rather poorly, is that I feel like the light just might be here. Life goes on. Life has problems. I thank God for being alive and getting another chance at it.

I need to work on this blog. The links are irrelevant now and the blog will be much more personal than it used to be. So we just see what happens.

And I promise I won’t be depressing all the time.