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Archive for the ‘weddings’ Category

Early 30′s Female Quandries that you have already heard

My friend came to pick me up yesterday to go the doctor because I am still in to much pain to drive. Very grateful for that. On the ride home she looks at me and says, “I can’t take it anymore. Every time I see a baby I flip out.”

I tried to turn my head, but had stay looking forward. “Why, R? You don’t actually flip out, right?”

“No, I don’t actually flip out. But I want a family. I want kids. I am tired of being single. How many more weddings do I have to to go to where I wonder why is she with him? How many more baby showers do I have to go too?”

My friend is the typical, pretty, successful, homeowner, Mercedes-driving 32 year old that has put her entire effort into her job and her church. She has dated A LOT of people. Had the opportunity to marry one or two of them. She definitely has a bit of a Cinderella complex. This situation is nothing new. I think what makes it worse for R is that she could give 27 Dresses a run for its money.

I said, “Well, if you want to get married you can get married. But think of it this way plenty of these people are not going to last. You saved yourself a starter marriage.”

She laughed.

I mean, no one wants a starter marriage. I certainly did not.

R has met my boyfriend. I told her what our other friend said about him when she saw him on the news.

“He looks and talks just like your Dad. It’s uncanny.”

Um, ok. That creeps me out.

But I have a response. My dad was a wonderful person and if I am lucky enough to marry a man who is similar to him the next time.
If I have daddy issues now so be it.

I repeated all of the to R and she laughed. R has a bit of a Christian complex. Lots of regrets about the past that she won’t let go of so now she dates 40 year old virgins who drink Shirley Temple’s. That is not healthy either.

“R, just get a guy with decent job, loves God and his mom, will have a few cocktails and is not a 40 year old virgin. That is NOT HARD TO FIND.”

True, Leslie. Very true.

It’s hard for me as well. As I watch all my friends have babies, I have had to take the view of these are my nieces. I get to buy them Tiffany banks and Madame Alexander dolls. And one day, when they are fully potty trained, I will be more than happy to babysit them. I just think you have to find a way to make these situations your own. They are not ideal, but I have bigger things to deal with like my hated job than worry about the fact that I don’t have the kids I want. Lord, what if I did have a kid and I was single. Yuck. Not for me. Total nightmare. And that is when I am reminded that things could be so much worse.

Patience is a virtue that R and myself have to pray for on a daily basis.

And for me being grateful for what I do have. Finding a way to ALWAYS AND CONTINUALLY move forward.

It’s so hard to not compare yourself and feel jealous of what others have. To not wonder, why is that not me, what have I done woring? Frustrating is the least of it. Seeing the facts and not being negatives.

My bff told me awhile back when I was crying to her about something (who knows what) “but Leslie, no matter what has happened you have always pushed forward and made the best of it.” It was nice to hear someone give me a bit of validation. I am grateful for her support.

And things change within the blink of an eye. My bff is married with a baby in under a year. All her dreams came true.

I said that to R. She said I know.

And then I hobbled into my condo building under my ridiculous Louis Vuitton umbrella.

Weddings – What Makes a Good Wedding

I have lots of thoughts and opinions on what makes a good wedding. Opinions of what should be done, what is good to scrimp on, what should have money spent on it. And just what is in good taste and what is not.

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding on Saturday night. It was fun for the bride and groom. The bride had planned and payed for the whole thing by herself. She did a great job considering the circumstances. I really feel it was the wedding of her dreams. That is great.

I was sitting there thinking about all of my friends weddings and what I did find enjoyable about their weddings. As I thought about it I realized how judgmental I had been. I realized how unnecessary those opinions were. It was their wedding and their taste. No matter if I agreed with it or if they had asked my opinion at the time. Generally, my opinion was asked. Not that it was heeded. But it did not matter. Exactly.

And I realized, in the end, that all of their weddings had one thing in common. I got drunk and had a good time. And I think that is what every bride sets out to do. Make sure her guests have a good time.

Mission accomplished.

Weddings – Don’t Be Greedy

Disclaimer: this post might make me sound like a total bitch, but I am sticking by it.

Disclaimer 2: I have nothing against Morristown, NJ.

I was out last night again and got into a discussion about the rude shit that people do in regards to their weddings and baby showers. One of the girls I was out with was telling horrendous stories of 150 invite lists to baby showers and espadrilles at hunting lodge weddings in South Georgia. Totally freaked me out.

My big story of late is the Jewish Morrocan wedding we have to attend on NEW YEAR’S F*****G EVE in Morristown, NJ. Ed is a groomsman. Anyway, I am totally pissed about it. It seems as though there are week long events for this wedding as well. (We won’t be attending those because we will be on vacation in Naples, FL.) The couple was given X amount for all of this and the guest list was made. Also, seems as though they invited a shit load of people from Israel that they thought would only send money. As is tradition. Not so much. All these people have their plane tickets to come over the pond. So now any envelopes the couple gets has to be opened at the wedding to pay for it. How tacky. How greedy. Totally passing judgement here.

When myself and many friends got married, we had our budget/style and that is how the guest list was made. Second cousins did not make the list. Weddings are to expensive any more to think there is a never ending supply of invites. All it causes is debt. Never think people are not going to come because they will. And if they have to travel, in all likelihood, they will not bring a gift. So for this couples sake I hope they get enough to cover it. Unfortunately, they won’t get to start of their new lives together with a ton of cash. Possibly not even a honeymoon.

If you know of a hair salon in Morristown, NJ near the Westin that I can get my hair done on New Year’s Eve, let me know.

Other People’s Weddings – Sawgrass

We went down to Sawgrass in Florida for my friend’s wedding. Lovely wedding, weather was steamy, I got a speeding ticket.

Floating Monogram in Pool

Me, still remotely sober

The happy bride and groom