So the other day I made a pot of coffee. I don’t think I’ve made a pot of coffee in my adult life. I can make an impressive leg of lamb but coffee wasn’t on the menu. It wasn’t what I “did”. It wasn’t my “job”. I don’t know why. It was a bad habit. It was what my boyfriend now ex-husband did. It was his job. It quit being his job 4 years ago. Time flew by but I still wasn’t making coffee. What was I holding on too but another habit or comfort zone issue? I loathe comfort zone issues. Now I’m making coffee.
I’ve been playing this game lately of how frugal can I be. It’s not that I necessarily have too. I want too. I want to see if how little I can spend on food even though I eat mostly beans and vegetables. I want to see what really matters. Starbucks has been something I’ve held onto for years. It was my special thing that made me feel comfortable. If a girl doesn’t instagram her venti, non-fat, no whip mocha did it really happen?
I would never skimp on my skin care but I hate getting hair cuts. Such a waste. I love fashion and designers but I want it at a massive, eBay discount now. I would never buy cheap champagne, but Lord help anyone who takes away my PBR. I don’t know, lately, I’m just over so many things. I’m not interested in much but my career and my relationship. I’m not interested in the comparisons that I let make me feel bad in the past. I’m going to have to get a new car soon. That’s a study in how can I be comfortable but cheap at the same time? I want a BMW, I will probably get another Toyota but upgrade slightly.
I was reading my horoscope and Susan was right. My life is completely different than it was two years ago let alone four years. I made the changes. I woke up this week and just realized the coffee and the past are done. Finally.
I like who I am now. I’m really happy to say it.