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Archive for September, 2011

The characters in my life.

I have all this stuff going on again. And I am not sleeping. Tis life it seems.

Anyway, I have a friend who is I met through my boyfriend. My friend is another, older lawyer who I refer to as my hippie lawyer, due to his long gray ponytail and love of all things Liberal. I LOVE my friend. He makes me roll with laughter and he takes care of all my moving violations.

Several weeks ago I had to go sit for the final time with him at court for my last speeding ticket. As we were sitting in the hallway waiting he tells me jokes in between answering phone calls for his regular job which is criminal defense work. The way he says, “I’m sorry, but your son is not getting out of jail any time soon. Why? They found him with a 5 lbs of marijuana in his car. Yes, this is serious.” Can be rather funny to listen to. If you have a warped sense of humor and I do.

Ok, back to the jokes.

Here is the first one.

A man was driving down the road and rear-ended a car. The accident was definitely the man’s fault and he immediately became worried due to having little insurance and a crappy car. As the man sat in his car worrying, he waited for the other driver to get out of his car to inspect the damage. The other driver finally got out of his car. Turns out the driver was raging mad and he as also a midget.

The at fault driver slowly got out of his car. The midget was jumping up and down on the side of the road yelling “I’m not happy, I’m not happy.”

The at fault driver then said, “Well, which one are you?”

Needless to say I think that joke is funny if you like midget humor.

My hippie lawyer has told me many other jokes but this next one is my all time favorite. I told it to my chiropractor and he is obsessed with it to.

A son comes to his father and asks, “Daddy, please explain to me the difference between hypothetically and realistically.” The father says, “Sure. Go as you 3 sisters and your mother if they would sleep with a total stranger for a million dollars.”

Off the boy runs. Finally, he comes back to his dad. “Daddy, daddy! I have the answers. My sisters and Mom all said they would sleep with a stranger for a million dollars.”

The father looks down at his son and says, “Ok, hypothetically we are sitting on a lot of money. Realistically, we are living with a bunch of whores.”

Cue hysterical laughter on my part.