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Archive for May, 2010

What I Have Been Up To Since I Moved

Mostly just working. I have a massive territory so I am gone by 7 am almost every day and don’t get back till between 6 and 7 at night. Every day. That in and of itself is a change. But I love talking to people and that makes up for it.

I am just going to list out this random stuff that has occurred because some of it is kind of funny.

1. Helped move a casket with a murder victim in it. He was killed “Elin Woods-style” with a 9 iron to the head.

2. I was asked out to lunch the first time I attended my new church.

3. I volunteered for Habitat for Humanity.

4. Subsequently, was asked “Can I walk you to your car?” when leaving said volunteer project.

5. My apartment still looks like a bomb went off in it. I literally don’t feel like dealing with it yet. And I am a neat freak so this is unexplainable.

6. I went out for Cinco de Mayo. Got in all kinds of trouble. I have the skinned knees to prove it.

7. Drank Pabst out of a styrofoam cup while watching a tennis tournament at the country club.

8. Realized how glad I am to have moved from Atlanta.

9. It is nice to feel appreciated and that people like me. Unlike Atlanta, where let’s just say it was the complete opposite and I just felt used.

10. I was in a prep room with a dead body being worked on.

11. I have 3 books I am reading right now. Need to finish all of them.

12. I have 10 lbs to go to my goal weight.

13. The life stories I have heard in this short time are amazing and profound and I appreciate the fact that people are willing to tell them to me.

14. Met some great ladies at the year end meeting for Junior League of Macon.

15. Every day I thank God for a second chance and a different outlook on life.

I have started a couple of posts but I haven’t finished them because I am afraid people might find them pretentious or preachy. But I am working on that. It is just stuff myself or others have experienced and the thoughts I have about them. So, I will keep working on them and when I do post them please let me know what you think.

Well, Hello there

Like the new look? Jessica over at the The Love List did it for me and I luuuvvvveee it. She did exactly what I wanted.

If you follow me on Twitter you know I have had to work thru many, many things.

QUICK RECAP:
Divorced
Had to close my family’s company of 30 years due to my Mother’s retirement and the economy
Got baptized
Got a new job as a territory sales rep
Moved to Macon, GA where I know NO ONE
Been thru a rebound boyfriend and a boyfriend I almost married
Physical therapy for my hip
Took Kaplan for the GMAT which I get to take again because I sucked so bad the first time
Working really hard to stay gluten and dairy free. Not always successful.
List goes on and on.

If you had told me 2 years ago let alone 5 years ago that this would all be going down I NEVER would have believed you. EVER.

I had planned to stay married for life, work for my family for life and never leave Atlanta. None of that is happening. It is still hard for me to understand why everything had to change so much. But I have said it once and I will say it again I am glad I went thru it at 30 or 31 and not 40+ with kids.

And as I have changed or had to go with the flow my faith in God has increased and strengthened. I will be honest with you at one point I did think about suicide. My whole world had fallen apart. I just was not sure if I could go on. My husband was someone I did not know. Someone who wanted a completely different life and had very different values than me. I was finally off of multiple mind alternating substances, but still drinking heavily. The greatest success of my life was shutting down due to no fault of mine or my Mom’s. People I was friends with while married no longer spoke to me. Even though I was the one who had thrown the parties, bought the gifts, provided if they needed anything. I felt completely alone and just felt like it did not matter any more.

Now I am one to joke and play things off, but it was bad. My Mom would call me if I did not show up to work on time to make sure I was still alive. I had to go to therapy. It sucked. But in the end I did not want to give up. I knew that I had “nine lives” and it was time to move on to the next. I turned to God. I prayed every day. I prayed for wisdom, patience and just to get thru it. And I did.

Everybody gets divorced anymore. There is more to that story and why it was so brutal which I will talk maybe in the future. The divorce is my big insecurity and something I am still working thru.

What I am trying to say, rather poorly, is that I feel like the light just might be here. Life goes on. Life has problems. I thank God for being alive and getting another chance at it.

I need to work on this blog. The links are irrelevant now and the blog will be much more personal than it used to be. So we just see what happens.

And I promise I won’t be depressing all the time.