February 9, 2008
Cocktail Culture - Strollers in Bars and having your cake and eating it too
DISCLAIMER: OPINION COMING, YOU CAN SHARE YOURS TO.
Here is a link to an article in the New York Times regarding a bar in Brooklyn that has banned strollers and anyone under 21.
Here are my thoughts. First, I am married without children. Have been for awhile. It will be that way for a bit longer. (Not going to ruin my 30th Birthday in Las Vegas!) But I also know that when the baby comes that life will have changed and it is time to move on from the bars and clubs. Not to say I won’t go out anymore, but I certainly would not take my child to Happy Hour or to a dinner with friends. Personally, I find a child running around at adult parties and restaurants inappropriate.
It is understandable that people want to go out and have a drink, but taking your child along is not the thing to do. To me, the child needs to wait his or her turn to go out. It’s called college. (Before you jump all over me, I am not saying that the child will be drinking.) I have read about moms who have cocktail party playdates which are held in their homes. This I do not have a problem with. They are keeping their children in an appropriate place and still getting their drink on. I could see myself doing this in the future. It so 1962, but in a fun way.
Myself and my husband were raised in what would be considered an old-fashioned way. We were not taken to our parents parties, we did not run around screaming in stores, we were made to wait/sleep in our rooms when our parents had dinner parties, we were not given run of the house and catered too. We plan to do the same with our child. I, honestly, don’t see why these parents would want to go out with their children. That is not “Going Out.” To me it is just the same as cigarettes, none of the bars allow smoking anymore, children should not be allowed to color in coloring books while I have my second gin and tonic at the bar.
Thank you, I was wondering if anybody in their 20’s and 30’s gets this. I’ve had my kids, I love my kids, but I really don’t like other people’s kids screaming and running around restaurants and stores while they are either ignored or spoken to REALLY REALLY loudly so we can all pay attention to how adorable they are.
We were on the concierge floor in a resort hotel in Bermuda and there was the typical “you gotta see the BAAAAAAA-by” extended family there with about 5 kids between them, and they were in every freaking restaurant we went to at the table next to us, I swear.
And we are the rude couple in our 40’s who will refuse to sit next to a table full of kids in a restaurant, so if that ever happens to you….yeah, that’s us. We’ve been there, done that. And we left our kids at home when we stayed in $500/night hotels and went to white tablecloth restaurants.
Wooo, guess that must be one of my HOT buttons! Rant over!
This past Christmas we had the same experience on the Club level. A family who had two older, wel-behaved children had a 1 year old running around screaming. The child threw cereal EVERWHERE. It was funny, because the other two kids were embarrassed.
Amen. I find it so incredibly rude when I am trying to have a nice night out and some parent thinks it “funny” to have their kid or kids running around your table making faces at you. I can’t tell you how many dirty looks I’ve given in these situations and all of them were warranted.
I was never allowed at my parents parties either. I was in bed when guests arrived and on occassion I was allowed to say hello and then head upstairs. End of story. Parents let their kids get away with murder and no doubt they will be the ones knocking us over in our old age because they never learned any manners.
I have been reading your blog for awhile and especially love hearing your take on the D.C. area since I now live here but still have family in Atlanta! I couldn’t agree more. I have a 2 year-old and love her dearly but the thought of taking her to a nice restaurant sounds more like a nightmare than a fund evening. Be careful …there is another strange new habit…we invited 4 couples over for dinner …3 we knew fairly well the other not so much but the husband just started working for my husband. Our daughter was in her room upstairs in bed where she remained for the duration of the evening. The couple we didnt know BROUGHT their 3 year-old boy to a the dinner party which started at 8pm. I am over this no rules parenting!
A to the Men, sister. I think the issue with some parents these days is that they try to negotiate things with their children, instead of putting their foot down and doing some actual parenting.
I totally agree. There is a time and place for children. How about parents who take their children to the movie theatre for grown up movies (and I don’t mean porn!)….and then they cry and make noise and the parents don’t take them out?? They shouldn’t be there in the first place. You can’t find a babysitter? Tough, then stay home! Don’t get me started……
When they think it is their right to bring their brats to your formal, 7 pm wedding, that is when the claws come out.
There was an article on this in the NY Post Magazine just this weekend!
I think that you will find there are plenty of “child friendly” places you, your husband and your little one can go and have a nice dinner and maybe even a drink.
Reminds me of Melanie’s line in Sweet Home Alabama…”look at you….you’ve got a baby….in a bar!”
My husband thinks instead of smoking and non-smoking in restaurants it should be children and non children. We have two kids who are older now and always tried to take them to appropriate places. Even then they were removed when their behavior warranted it.
This drives me nuts too. I was married for 8 years before having kids (now have a 5 & 3 year old). It drives me nuts when parents bring kids to restaurants and let them stand up in the booths and hover and breathe on my head. errr. So many people are just so inconsiderate on so many levels these days and so many people parents have no interest in disciplining their kids. I’m far from the “perfect parent”, but my kids are fairly well behaved compared to many I see.
AHY- MEN! You are preaching to the chior!!!
Being the parent of 3 very wonderful, (oh so patient and polite) children, only makes me appreciate the rare occasions when I have the opportunity to go with friends or my sweet, dear husband - SANS children even more!!! I do not dare distract myself from these blessed life interludes with my own children, much less do I enjoy distraction from other’s lovely, little off spring. I have even requested table’s away from other “family” groups when DH and I manage to get away - to which the host/hostess will always ask “you don’t have children” (what???? having children makes me need the break even more!!!)…maybe that makes me not so nice (???) but there is a time and place for everything.
whoops…I didn’t realize I was on my soap box!
www.southerness.blogspot.com
Hello, it’s called a baby sitter…
The only time we take our children to a “nice” restaurant is for family parties, brunches, etc. but those are usually held in separate rooms. We also have to take them to the dining room at the Ahwahnee in Yosemite when we are there, and the main dining room at the Grand on Mackinac, but we always go around 5 along with all the other families with children.
Interesting. I’m the bad parent of whom you’ve heard tell. My husband and I had our children very young; most of our friends were of course still single and childless. Because we both worked and our boys were in daycare, we spent every free moment with them–so sometimes this meant that we took them with us when we were invited to adult parties. I like to think my boys were well behaved, but I’m sure looking back that some people were annoyed. However, good things happened too: both of my sons grew up easily conversing with adults and, as well, they developed realtionships with our friends that came in handy when they reached the teen years and needed an adult other than the parent to share things with. I also admit to taking my son to bars when we were in college, although I would probably not do that if I had a baby now! My husband says taking a baby into a bar is a really great way to get surrounded by attractive girls, fast. (Not that he was looking for that to happen, of course!).
Leslie, you are sooooo right about that!!!
I spent two years working in an elementary school before my current job - I’ll probably be going back next school year. EVERY TIME (sorry for shouting) I see screaming kids in a restaurant or a hotel lobby or the mall - or, get this: I was teaching a night class, at a community college, a few semesters ago, and right outside my classroom I start hearing three screaming little children bolting back and forth, up and down the hallway. This went on for about 30 minutes and I tried to ignore them. I don’t remember if I went out and told them to stop or if their father collected them first, but I always get that urge whenever I see screaming children who are screaming where they ought not scream, to just yell “GENTLEMEN / LADIES, STOP! Come here. [And after they come here] Now I want you to walk quietly back the way you came. Go on!” And I do not leave them alone until they walk back quietly. In an elementary school, this works. I don’t know if it would have worked on a college campus (even with children).
BTW: I am married without children. Have been for awhile. It will be that way for a bit longer. (Not going to ruin my 30th Birthday in Las Vegas!)
Too funny!
The last part of that comment: I meant I laughed out loud at that last quote of yours (I’m not married or with children, just copied and pasted what you wrote)
As a mother of three little boys who CAN sit still and behave at a local RESTAURANT hotspot-on the patio-NOT the bar-I say AMEN! You can take your child out to have a nice meal-or children-but do so in an appropriate manner. Also-never let your child in a bar.
These yucky neighbors of ours LOVE to have parties where the grown ups get drunk and the kids run wild until they all just fall asleep-boys and girls together-uh, NO thank you. My children will be at home and in bed at an appropriate bedtime. I know-I am positively medieval.